My Reality

Perhaps I’m locked up in some corner, of some maze of my multi-layered dream.

The cold wind gushing in through the window dishevels my hair: the strands blur my vision. My lids are heavy—they stretch out and settle down on my eyes. I hear the horns honking; the car is moving through the congested roads, faster than I expected: I feel motion. This motion defies dream. I smell the wind: it’s rain-soaked. Some more strands of hair get entangled in my lashes. I want to lift my hand and keep them from disturbing. I can’t.  My heart throbs in my ears. I want to inhale with patience and silence my heart. But gravity pulls it down. My hands can’t reach out. I can feel proceeding towards my current destination. I want to extend my hand and feel the person sitting next to me. I want to decipher if he is just a projection of my mind or real. I fail again.

But I sure have reached by now. I force my eyelids to fold: I haven’t progressed any further. This isn’t supposed to be a dream! It can’t be!  I’ve felt his hands on my face. He has assured me of this reality. I can’t be standing where I’ve started from. I turn towards the person sitting beside. He’s still there. He is saying something. I try to read his lips. Blurred. I turn to face the road outside. Black worms drizzling in the air or in me. I can see dark spots dancing. I turn to face him again. He smiles, a reassuring one. His smile is real.
He doesn’t smile in my dreams. He asks me where I am. I’m clueless.

He nudges me to get down from the cab and helps me cross the road. I know not where I’m headed to. I let him lead my way. I don’t know when I’ll reach. I wait for the train. It knows my destination. I’m more than eager now. The train hasn’t arrived yet and I’m waiting to locate where my journey ends.

The lights carve out my image on the wall—it climbs up the stairs. To where my journey ends? I can feel the vibration of the train. It’s coming within my reach. I can hear it approaching. I can feel it looming large on me.

It’s not a dream or a reverie anymore.
It’s no trance.
This IS my reality.